Every week (or so) I will be posting a new Q&A post to answer your questions about boudoir, erotic boudoir, my photography in general, and more. If you have a question that you would like to have addressed please feel free to reach out and let me know what’s on your mind!
What is the biggest way I can sabotage myself leading up to my Boudoir Shoot?
Boudoir and Erotic Boudoir are special forms of portraiture; unlike gathering the family together for that yearly holiday portrait or posing in an epic landscape for your engagement photos, the very nature of intimate portraiture is to cut to the core of who you are and to lay that bare in a sexy and alluring way. Many of you, however, have likely not spent time posing this way, or interacting with anyone in this way – let alone in front of a photographer.
It is common to have some nerves about doing the session, everyone does, even many experienced models get butterflies until the shooting starts. So that is normal, assume that if you are seeing an image of mine that they probably had similar nerves to what you are feeling. These nerves are good, and you have no need to worry about them ruining your session. They will go away after a bit, ask literally anyone who has ever shot with me.
That said, there is something that you can do to sabotage your boudoir or erotic boudoir photo shoot with me; and do you know what that is? Having unrealistic expectations in regards to what I can do as the photographer or in what you can do as the subject. Now you may be wondering what I mean by that, so let me explain.
Overhyping Is The Worst Enemy of Your Boudoir Shoot
Have you ever seen a movie come out and get a ton good reviews, all your friends are talking about it, and you start to get excited about it, only to come away disappointed by the film after you have seen it? It is true that you may just not like the film, but what is more often the case in this situation is that you built up your personal expectations for the film so high, based on that input from other moviegoers, that there was no way the film, no matter how entertaining or exciting it was, could live up to it.
Now, I don’t really consider a boudoir session with me to be on the same level as a Hollywood Blockbuster, however, the concept is the same. If you let yourself get overhyped, either by what friends are saying about it or what other clients of mine have been saying, you may find yourself coming into the shoot with unrealistic expectations. This is bad because it creates a scenario by which no matter what we create together, you may find yourself disappointed or let down by the result.
The key is to be excited, and having enthusiasm while maintaining a basis in reality. For example, if you see a really hot shot that I took of a woman in a luxury bathtub with bubbles, and you fixate on that look and want that look. But your apartment just has a simple shower/tub combo in a generic run of the mill bathroom, then you are going to have trouble adjusting to the images that we create in your bathroom because they will never live up to the mansionesq bathroom that you have created for yourself in your head. Make sense?
Another example here could be more on your end of things, like if you really like the look of a shot of a woman that has a different body type than you (be it thinner, thicker, taller, shorter, more muscular, less muscular, whatever). It is not likely that we are going to emulate that look exactly simply by fact that you two are different people with different features. Let alone that we are in a different location with different lighting.
It is important to always keep yourself reigned in, grounded, and realistic in regards to what is possible in the space we will be shooting in (be that your home or another location we have selected together) and the features of your body. I’m not a miracle worker, and if you come to me with a B-Cup wanting me to make it look like you have DDD’s then you are sorely mistaken. Same goes for if you expect me to make your studio apartment look like a luxury condo in Miami – it’s just not in the realm of reality.
If my work is about anything it is about embracing who you are; all of the things you love about yourself, and yes, even those things that you may be insecure about. Together we will create images that have the potential to empower you by showing you that you do have it, you are a hottie, and that its ok to be a sexy, sexual being. It’s Self Love, Body Positivity, and Sexual Empowerment all rolled up into a collection of images that prove it to yourself and flaunt it to the world (should you decide to share it with them).
So, remember that when you are getting ready to book your session, or in the process of preparing for your sessions. You are you; beautiful, sexy, courageous. You are where you are; be that your studio apartment or some AirBnB Mansion. Let that imagination run wild within the confines of what is possible for the shoot; do that, and you are setting yourself up for success, not laying the groundwork for a defeat.