We, as humans, are sexual beings; it is at the very core of who we are as people and as individuals, without it, none of us would be here. Yet for the longest time only one gender was socially allowed to own their sexuality and embrace their sexual identities. This is one of the very reasons that I started shooting my boudoir in this style, because I felt that beyond the body positivity and self confidence, there was a real need to help women embrace their sexuality as well.
Today I have a special guest on the blog, Youtube and IG Sex/Lifestyle Vlogger Chelsea Nichole, who recently put out an excellent video about accepting her sexuality (see below). That video inspired me to reach out to her, we have been in contact on IG in the past, and ask if she would be interested in collaborating on this blog post. Thankfully she accepted the offer, and here we are. I wanted to dig into her perspective on women being sexually confident, as well as how men can support that. It is a short and sweet Q&A, but it’s one that I think you all should enjoy.
So that was the video, now let’s get into the Q&A…
What does it mean, to you, to be sexually confident?
I’m answering from a Female standpoint. Being a sexually confident woman, to me, means that you not only own your sexuality but your open to explore it. Sexual confidence is 100% something you work on and build up to, it doesn’t happen over night.
Once you get over the negative stigma attached to being a sex-positive female, you’ll feel a different sort of ‘powerful’ inside you. Owning up to past/present experiences with partners or yourself, will only pave the path for you to learn and explore yourself further.
Take your sexuality head on with no setbacks or regrets, and push yourself out of your comfort level in order to grow your experiences.
Why is it important for women to be sexually confident?
Women are taught to keep quiet, not mention their sexual needs/desires, because of the label that is associated. It’s almost as if your worth is determined by how well you keep your mouth shut when it comes to intimate situations. Self acceptance plays a big role in happiness, as well as maintaining your mental health.
If more women expressed their willingness to explore their sexuality, it would show other women that it’s okay and you don’t have to hide what goes on behind closed doors. Go against the grain, if you’re someone that wants to have multiple partners – have multiple partners, does taking strikingly risque photos boost your personal libido ….. then take the damn photos.
Do you, the last thing to worry about is what a small minded person thinks about your choices. Irrelevant.
What are some ways that you think women can grow their sexual confidence?
Do something that makes you feel good! It could be indulging in some alone time after a long day of work, trying on some sexy lingerie, or maybe you want to share a sexual experience you’ve had with some strangers on the internet (haha)….. Throw yourself into the world of sex toys and erotica, there will be NO turning back.
As fun as it is to do these things on your own for yourself, throwing a partner in the mix (whether casual/permanent) can up the anti with really showing you own yourself unapologetically.
In what ways can men support women being more sexually confident?
Men (some, not all) should place themselves into 2018 rather than living in the past. Instead of knocking a woman for being in tune with her sexual awareness, raise her up for being proud of her choices. Praise that she refuses to hide in the dark.
Men are men & women are women, that will never change (not sorry), but how we’re able to treat one another, no matter their sex says a lot about that individuals integrity and character. If a man will shame 1 woman, he’s capable of doing it to all.
In what ways are you sexually confident? Where do you see room for improvement for yourself?
As much as I like to think I’m a very sexually confident female, there’s definitely room for improvement. Creating sexual content on a continuous basis for my channel but also for my instagram, I always have a moment before a post goes live where I worry how I may be perceived (family/friends), how my vulnerability can potentially hurt me in the long run. Seeing how I’ve been able to help women grow with themselves sexually (whether purchasing their first sex toy or knowing that they don’t have to hide the shame that can be associated with having multiple sexual partners…etc), is enough re-assurance to myself that I know what I’m doing is right.
Almost that I’m serving a purpose by showing females at any age, you can live a sex positive lifestyle & be able to rise above the negativity tied to it. I’m not a feminist, but being almost a ‘voice’ for the modern woman is enough for me. I can get behind that
& continue to press on with growing myself through each and every endeavour I take, sex toys, nipple orgasms, period sex….. I’ll cover it all, with no shame.