In this age of social media and nearly constant contact with much of the world, it is easy to find yourself constantly comparing yourself to others about virtually every aspect of your life. The places you go, the job you work, the food you eat, the movies you like, the shape of your body, the list goes on. In some ways this can have a good reaction, causing us to try things we maybe wouldn’t have before, or to do things that maybe we wouldn’t have don’t without that inspiration. But for the most part, it has a much more sinister side effect, and that is that it makes our own lives feel less and less special; causes us to feel like we are not enough, our bodies are not enough, our status is not good enough.
The problem is that this has trained us to look at the world with a ‘Me vs them’ mentality. Maybe you are on your break at work on a Monday morning and you find yourself scrolling through your social feeds, looking at the awesome images that your internet friends have posted from their awesome weekend in Hawaii. Up to that point you had been content with your weekend, which had consisted of you catching up on some yard work and binge-watching your favorite show on Netflix. But now that you have seen what these other people had done all weekend, suddenly your weekend wasn’t as nice as you had felt like it was before you had started scrolling.
Let’s bring up another example more closely tied to my boudoir photography. Maybe you have been in a good place with your body and you have been content with how you look. But you start following some boudoir photographers or bodybuilders and after scrolling through your feed you find yourself wondering if you deserve to do a boudoir shoot with such a mediocre body. The fact is that those other people are not you, maybe they have a subjectively nicer body, that is beside the point. How do you actually feel about your body, are you comfortable with it? Not comfortable with it? You really need to change the lens through which you look at yourself and the world. It’s not ‘You vs Them’, that is a losing battle. What you need to be thinking is ‘You vs Yourself’.
Here is what I mean by that. Using the body image issues as an example again, and going back to that question of how you feel about your own body. If you answered that you were uncomfortable with it, then think about WHY you are uncomfortable with it. I don’t just mean arbitrary things like wishing you had a bigger butt or plumper lips, but go deeper than that to the root cause of what is making you uncomfortable. Is it because you honestly dislike something, or is it because you think that someone else will dislike something? If the answer to that question is that you honestly dislike something, then great, you are judging yourself based on yourself. But if you see that you are basing your self-worth and your value on some made up opinion of some person then you have a problem, and you need to address that.
Now, this is easier said than done. We have been conditioned to base the value of our experiences on the number of likes they get, or the number of followers that we gain. The truth is, none of those people matter, their opinions don’t matter; the only person who’s opinion about your life that matters is yourself. At the end of the day you are responsible for your own happiness, you are responsible for how you feel about the life you are leading or the body that you are rocking. If you see a problem and honestly see it as a problem, then do something about it. But don’t get caught up in comparing the entirety of your life to the highlights you see on social media about someone else’s life.
Remember, it’s ‘You vs Yourself’. So, if you want to do a boudoir shoot but have been feeling self-conscious about your body, I encourage you to step a little bit outside of your comfort zone and do it anyway. You’re beautiful just the way that you are, and that doesn’t mean that you are perfect (no one is). Literally, no one who I have shot with thinks that they are perfect, in fact, many fixate on the smallest of flaws that in reality, they are the only one that sees. You don’t need to be totally happy with yourself to do a shoot, many women have used their shoots as a piece of their journey to help the rediscover that love for themselves.
I am here to help you see for yourself that you are beautiful, in your own special and unique way; regardless of size, shape, height, skin color, heir length, or any other metric. You are you, and that is a beautiful thing. So stop trying to compare yourself to things that are not you, they will never compare to you and you will never compare to them. Instead focus on what you are now and what you want to be, or if looking at results, where you are now and where you were before.
This is a simple thing you can do to not only be happier about your body but also about your life in general. So, stop fretting, making excuses and telling yourself that you need to wait to come in for a shoot. You are worthy, you deserve it, and I am looking forward to participating in your journey towards self-love and acceptance.
So, get in touch today… really.